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Sex Tips

Anal Stimulation Tip

Before putting any object into a person's anus use common sense. And for those of you who are at a loss of what common anal sense is keeping reading.


- Listen to your partner. This includes both verbal and non-verbal cues. What does she/he verbally say? Has she/he told you she/he wants to experiment with anal stimulation? Does she/he like having her/his butt touched. Does she/he get more excited as your finger brushes along the tip of her/his anus?

-Never try something on a partner that you would be unwilling to have tried on you (unless specifically requested).

???Always use retrievable objects. Can you imagine having to rush to the emergency room and explain to the on-call doctor that you have part of a cucumber stuck up your butt?

-Be clean. Wash all your tools with antibacterial soap and hot water before inserting them into your partner. You can also disinfect your toys by soaking it in hydrogen peroxide (full strength) for 15 minutes.

-Always use smooth objects. Anything sharp or jagged runs the risk of puncturing the anal canal. This not only causes pain, but also may lead to infection and other complications.

-Avoid rigid objects. Flexible objects will enable you to maneuver through those curves in the rectum (and there are many of them!)

-And most importantly, be realistic. If this is the first time experimenting with anal stimulation start small. Your fingertip is more than sufficient and will definitely create a rise. Fisting, and other such forms of anal-play are something that takes time to learn how to do / receive. Trust & experience are something that only comes with time and practice. There is no such thing as an overnight expert. No one is good the first time they have sex. Everybody is slightly uncoordinated and miss the social cues that teach us about a partner's body. Give yourself time. You have the rest of your life to perfect these techniques. Let yourself savor the moments of each "new" thing that you try.

-To begin experimenting with anal pleasuring.

-Both partners must be willing.

- Experiment with a finger, or an anal plug.

-This will help the insert begin to get comfortable with this new sensation. At the beginning of anal pleasuring, take a deep breath and relax. The more relaxed the anal muscles are, the easier it is to insert a finger, penis or anal plug. Lubrication will help the entry process and will reduce the risk of tearing the inside lining of the anus. Saliva and water based lubricants work well. According to Jack Morin, author of Anal Pleasure and Health oil is a recommended method. Having spoken with several sex educators, I have heard mixed opinions about this recommendation. Thus to be SAFE, I recommend using water based lubricants and/or saliva.

- If something hurts, STOP.

Male G-spot Tip

Technically men do not have g-spots. The g-spot refers to a particular part of the female anatomy. After wetting your latex covered finger with saliva or water-based lubrication, slowly insert it into his rectum. Use a steady gentle movement to push your finger into the rectum. Take your time; it is the outer most third of his rectum that is the most sensitive. Going slowly increases his desire for more, and allows both of you enough time to adjust to this new technique/sensation. Begin moving your finger in and out. This helps to relax the surrounding area. Once both of you are feeling comfortable, and your finger is fully inside, curl your finger upwards, and begin making the 'come here movement' with your finger. This motion in effect has the tip of your finger tapping on his prostate. Some men are able to orgasm from this form of stimulation. Some men desire this form of stimulation combined with oral sex. It is this tapping of the prostrate which is sometimes referred to as the 'male g-spot'.

Place your index finger into the vagina and touch the anterior wall. It is approximately a finger length up. Many women like having the person touching them use their index finger to place some pressure on the wall. Try making the 'come here motion' with your index finger. Allow the tip of your finger to tap on the anterior vaginal wall. Let her level of excitement guide your movements. Talk with her, and ask her how different forms of touch feel. Some women may not like the feeling of being touched there and may even find it painful. Another way to tell if you are indeed touching her g-spot is that there will be a change in texture. The g-spot area will feel fleshy, like a small area of wrinkled skin. In contrast, the surrounding area will feel taut. The shape of the g-spot is similar to an upright kidney bean. In addition to touching her g-spot with your index finger, I would strongly encourage you to use your tongue (remember all those tongue exercises!) and stimulate her clitoris, inner & outer lips. The combination of fellatio (oral sex) with g-spot stimulation is enough to make most women become extremely excited.

Kissing Technique Tip

The key to good kissing is creativity, active listening, and changing patterns. Creativity speaks for itself. Creativity includes trying new ideas, and/or new combinations of movements, locations and moods. Active listening refers to paying attention to your partner's verbal and non-verbal signals. Is your partner currently excited? Is your partner in a happy or sad mood? What does your partner want to do? Is your partner wishing for a quite evening of talking, or does he/she want a romantic encounter, a quickie, or animalistic lustful encounter? Which movements turn your partner on the most? Which ones the least? Changing patterns refers to the alterations of types of kisses used.

Half of a good kiss is the anticipation of the imagination about what will follow and what this kiss means. Very rarely will a partner complain that the pace is too slow. The slowness can actually raise the sexual tension by 'pacing' the sexual encounter. Each stage will have to be fully explored before moving on. Sometimes, the simple act of kissing is enough. Kissing does not always lead to intercourse. Sometimes a kiss is exactly what a couple wants, something steamy, hot, romantic, and connected. A frequent mistake that long term couples make is that a kiss is always a signal to intercourse. Or that a kiss should always follow a set order and path. Routines (while pleasurable) can also be deadly. Routines sometimes can act to diminish the excitement, because the other person already knows exactly what will come next. In that way, a 'first' with someone new is always exciting, because you simply have no idea about what to expect. Therefore, in an effort to help people 'break' old patterns a set of different types of kisses have been collected. It is my hope that you will all, on your next date, keep these ideas in mind and practice them on your next kiss.