Deal with lack of sexual desire - Articles - sex toys

Having your sexual urges turned off can make you feel at a loss if you are used to sparks and joys in a bedroom with your partner. Though almost everybody goes through times when desires seem to sleep, the constant state of sexual desire decline can sooner or later lead to frustration.

Being a single person and having low libido can be quite normal as your body finds a way to compensate for the lack of the partner.

Having a partner and making love for 2-3 times per month can also be rather ok as long as you are pretty satisfied.

The problem arises when either from the couple is feeling coldness and it becomes disturbing for that person and for the partner.

So what are the main causes for lack of sexual desire?

Though there are a lot of causes for lack of sexual desire such as health problems or mere tiredness in most cases such a condition is more or less psychological by nature.

1. Stress or anger feelings

Living with in state of constant pressure at work, feeling stressed at home or being angry for your partner after a serious fight can all be a quite a reason for your sexual coldness.

Some of these feelings can be also much hidden and unconscious that creates even more frustration for you if you fail to face the real cause of you lack of sexual desire. You body can react negatively to your inner stress and anger as well and thus making sexual pleasure run cool.


What can be done?


You initial strategy in reviving your sexual desire is overcoming your feelings of stress and anger, you are experiencing. Some find it helpful to actually ... have sex as a means to get rid of their problems. It's "like cures like".


If you don't feel like having intercourse with your partner, you may use sex toys such as vibrators to simply let off steam.
Buying something simple, yet quite multi-purpose, like Hitachi Vibrator is a good idea if you are a newbie in sex toys use.


Sex toys use can be a good way-out for some people, as long as it is easier for a person to have some time alone in order to revive his senses.

It's quite difficult to get intimate with a person your are angry with. In this case communication is the key. Talking out your deep emotions can break the coldness and find even better understanding in your bedroom.

2. Problems within a relationship

It is a common case when especially at the initial stage of the relationship you don't need any special occasion or your mood set because everything just seems new and exciting for you.

You anticipate the next date and care about your looks and your sexual experience has nothing to do with everyday routine. But as long as you are getting used to each other and getting more and more familiar with each others likes and dislikes your sexual desire may be not as sharp as it was at the beginning.

What can be done?


Fighting a routine is first of all fighting the old and the well-known. Try and experiment – this is a basic principle for you. Are you used to have sex in your bedroom?

• Then why not move to the shower or catch your beloved one in a changing room?


• Have you tried to introduce sex toys to your partner?


• Use your imagination and do unexpected things: small surprises, intriguing notes, sexy underwear, and your favorite Hitachi Vibrator – even such details can have their positive effects on your relationships and your sexual drive.

3. Your partner

Few people can admit there is something wrong with their partner that is making them turned off. You may simply feel intimidating to tell your partner that fingering your ass is not an ultimate desire for you personally.

Or you may be too sensitive to your partner's smell. All this is hard to tell directly that's why you may avoid the issue by having your libido in decline.

What can be done?

However difficult it may be for you, clearing out the problem is a necessity for you. You can find a more delicate approach to your partner focusing on your true desires and emphasizing what felt really good rather than stating weaknesses.

If you are not opt for anal sex, suggest some other way to make your partner feel good, like stimulating him with her cute Hitachi Vibrator or using anal sex toys for butt play.

You can start with: "It would be great if you caress me with this lovely Hitachi Vibrator", "I wonder how it would feel with this Hitachi Vibrator?" and the like.

4. Negative experience

Negative experience in the past may have very crucial effects on your future sex life. All the fears and events that could have left you a bad impression may have a negative impact on your overall attitude towards sex as well as your sexual desire.
Very rarely you are aware of those fears and feelings that’s why you may need a professional help.

What can be done?

Very often experience that once made your feel poor is very likely to have deep roots in your mind. That's why sex therapy can be very useful to you.

You also talk to your partner and clear things up. It's necessary to be honest with your beloved one as he or she may see himself as a primary cause of your sexual desire decline and thus making the conflict grow.